I know it has been some time since I last posted, but then again I have been very busy at work. well maybe not at work because I love what I am doing and therefor do not feel as if I am working.
Last month I was in the SICU, Surgical Intensive Care Unit, medically managing some of the post operative patients. The good thing about that rotation was that I was the only intern and resident so it was just the Intensivist and I which was great for 1:1 teaching time. But at the same time, if something was not done, the onus was 100% on me with no backup from a senior resident. And boy did I learn a lot.
There was one patient were I really learned how to manage shock and maintain blood pressure. I was in constant communication with the attending and it took about 5 hours to get the patient stable. By the end of the night, I really knew what to look for and how to manage things. Although I can use more practice my confidence went up. In addition, I really learned how to prioritize things in the ICU patient. And since my census was not very high I had to do several presentations to the other interns in the ICU so I learned a lot about topics including compartment syndrome, acute coronary events, delirium, etc.
Now I am on the general medical floors and I am doing well. These patients are much more stable and I am happy to be able to generate some form of relationship with them while they are in the hospital. And with my experience in the ICU, I do have confidence because before calling the resident, I think about the problem and come up with potential solutions. However, this is having a hard time at home because of my schedule.
I am on call every 4th night so I am at work from 7am until 9:30 pm and do not get home until about 10/10;30 so I can go a day or so without seeing the girls. This is why I do my best to spend quality time with them. Not always successful because I am so tired. I am learning to be much more patient with my girls, which is hard when you are sleep deprived. The other day I became angry and I took a drive to calm down, of course I went to get my clogs for work which are more comfortable for my feet but I was able to cool it and chit chat with my 10 year old the next day and smooth things over. Now I am going to close my eyes and count to 10 when I am starting to get frustrated because I forget that they are kids and are going to do kids things. Forgive me, I am human and therefor flawed.
With the wife, the issue is spending couple time. And the solution apparently has to be to schedule our time. While it may seem unromantic to say, "9pm thursdays is our night" it almost guarantees that it will happen because we wont schedule things at that time. However, while the schedule may not be romantic the time itself can be romantic. From putting a fire place on the computer from youtube, to going to the backyard and having some wine. It is a chance to be creative. Hopefully this will resolve one issue.
The other issue of course is finances, but that is for another discussion.